Brando, an award winning manufacturer of useless, tacky gadgets that you wouldn't get even if the maker paid you to use them, has just rolled out its latest achievement in headphone technology. The Zalman ZM-RS6F+M 6-Channel Surround Sound Headphones + Microphone. That's definitely a name you'll forget as soon as you take your eyes off the monitor.

Star Trek aficionados and Borg fans in particular are definitely going to want to buy this item. Add a little body armor and you will be able to pass yourself as a soon to be fully assimilated Borg soldier in no time. The cool thing about these headphones, though, is that they really provide surround sound. As in: they are so big that no one will recognize your face if they saw you from the side.

This device is clearly made for those with elongated facial bone structure... such as Ridley Scott's Aliens or John McTiernan's Predator. On a regular human being... well, you might as well check out the picture. That girl must have really needed the gig!

High Quality Sound is offered by separating the front, rear and center speakers. This allows the wearer to actually “wear” non-virtual surround sound technology. In more “layman's terms,” you'll be wearing surround sound speakers attached to your head. And we've got the inputs to prove it. Four different jacks have to be plugged into your computer for total immersion: the microphone jack, center channel jack, rear channel jack and front channel jack. Like wearing a home cinema, right?

The device has a sensitivity of around -40dB, a sound pressure level of 89 dB and a frequency response of 50 HZ to 20 Hz. Those of you that know a bit about headphones have probably realized by now that there's not much of a difference between these and some pretty affordable near-professional quality headphones. Except for their shape. Oh, and they fold for portability... like anyone would want to carry these things around.


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